Like any good department store, I seem to have gone right from Halloween to Christmas, Blogsters!How did you handle my absence? Are you thankful I am back? Cause I AM!!! Still struggling with the new blog format but I figure hiding from it won’t make it easier sooo…. as I sit and watch the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting (from my couch, btw, like most good New Yorkers do), I am coming back at you Hard CORE with Gifts You Didn’t Know You Wanted!!!

I get so many ridiculous catalogs all year that I can’t not pass on the benefit of my page flipping as you shop for your loved ones! We’ve done this before! Remember the time I introduced you to the Subtle Butt? Or the Ham Dogger? You’re Welcome. Well, get ready to be thankful for more than my return!!

First up, for the puppies (since my life has clearly gone to the dogs… Well, one dog!)

Pajama Jeans for DOGS!!! As if Pajama Jeans aren’t ridonk enough- you can get ’em for your dog? Because she is looking for style and comfort? Luckily, the good folks at have them in Boot Cut, Regular, Two “washes” of Skinny and DOG style! And for only $19.99! Personalized for an extra 13 beans! Get them while they are hot? (dOn’T gEt mE aNY. loVE, riPLeY)

Next, in keeping with the animal theme… A Pig Shirt. Listen, personally, I don’t care how “right off the farm” this pig looks- I would drown myself in the slop trough if anyone gave this to me but for you lovers of the swine…

Get on it! It’s only $19.95! Except for your porker friends- the XXL is an extra two cracklins!

From the good folks at Catalog Favorites!!







And speaking of things that make me uncomfortable…  Is this incontinence humor???! Or is the laugher doubled over and thus the tears are ACTUALLY on the leg? It is for a very narrow audience… But it is only $13.95! Crazy Country Store Catalog!

And perhaps to catch the “tears”, you would put something on the floor?? Skip that, get THESE! Three words- Apple. Floor. Booties. You get EIGHT of them for just $9.99!! I can’t wait for mine to arrive!

Finally… a most useful gift for all you rollers out there. Sometimes, rolling is hard. You need help. Well, Solutions has the solution! Perfect Roll for Sushi!! Keeps the perfect 2 3/4″ roll going so if you roll anything else- it will be perfectly HUGE! Add tuna. Oh, and $14.98.