Feel Sorry For Me!
So, yesterday, after not being able to book a massage (something that is sorely needed- pun intended), I decided to shop for Monday’s show*! And as the show is a burlesque show, I let Bella DaBalls take over. She high tailed it to Fever. Her favorite crappy lingerie shop in all of Astoria (see pic)! And she made me buy stuff, oh yes, she did. And with a quick stop at Madeline’s Hosery (her second favorite shop) she called me names and bullied me into getting a pedicure. (There really is nothing like walking down Steinway St. beating yourself up like Ed Norton in Fight Club!)

Normally, a pedicure is a great, indulgent thing. But some of you may recall that may last pedicure (in October) ended in me having an infection in my heal after the bitch cut me. I have since refrained but I just wanted a massage and even if I could only get my feet rubbed, well, Bella wouldn’t take no for answer. (Especially since NO is rarely an answer she gives) (Whore) (Whiner) And the pedicure was good. No cuts, no abrasions, no fear of a staph infection- just pretty red toe nails and some relaxed feets!

I got home and after chilled for a bit then decided to shower after Jim left for work (and before rehearsing and such). Well…. in trying to avoid the stream of scalding water, I slipped on my moisturized feet and fell ass over tea kettle OUT OF THE SHOWER!! It was all very slow motion, too. A whole lot of “this is going to hurt” on the way down. And in the end- gravity slammed me & Bella to the tile floor, tail bone first, elbow on toilet second, foot on edge of tub last. OWWWWWWW!!!!

My Bathroom and Tea Kettle, Ass not included…

And so, I woke this morning and headed directly to Maria at SPAce Salon here in Astoria who rubbed and stretched and suggested (ice and more stretching) and made the rest of today a little less painful. Sadly, not painless enough to rehearse wholeheartedly but enough. Thus, feel bad for me. Cause my whole body feels like it was hit by a truck… in the bathroom! Plus, Bella is none too pleased about the potential for exposed bruises!

*Harlow’s Hide Away
Monday 9PM
Fontana’s Basement! 105 Eldridge St
(btwn Broome & Grand), NYC
Doors at 8:30 $10 or $5 with flyer**
Saucy Burlesque Beauties hosted by Honi Harlow
with Anita Cookie, Bella DaBalls, Creamy Stevens and MORE!
**comment/email me with your flyer needs and I will provide!
It’s like I am giving you money! 5 Whole Dollars!